


Mom es Machina

by LadyRachael



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Edward Elric Swears, Everybody Lives, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Mild Language, Prompt Fill, Theatre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24119389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyRachael/pseuds/LadyRachael
Summary: High levels of ridiculousness. Truth's Mom puts her foot down about this mess all over Truth's planet.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 49
Collections: Truth or...?





	1. Chapter 1

We've been here before. White plain, Door, Truth being an asshole.  
Truth sits in front of Alphonse's Door, poking his body with a stick.

A white door opens out of the blankness and an empty female form enters.

TRUTH'S MOM - Truth, did you take out the garbage yet?

TRUTH - Mom! I'm busy! And what do you mean? There's nothing here! 

TRUTH'S MOM opens the Door, various parts fall out. TRUTH'S MOM somehow conveys a glare with no eyes.  
\- I want you to clean up this mess, and is that a *human*? What is wrong with your arm and leg? Are you wearing *human parts*? Those rot so quickly, it's unsanitary!

TRUTH - Ugh, fine.  
TRUTH returns to an empty base form. The various parts start to disappear into blue light. 

TRUTH'S MOM - Back where they belong, mind, not just wherever. Why did you have all that anyway?

TRUTH - They should have stayed out of my room then. They wanna rummage through my closet for awesome alchemy knowledge, they gotta pay the toll. Nothing for free, you know? 

THE DOOR - The Eye opens and the hands start to creep toward TRUTH'S MOM, she hits them with a ruler without looking. 

TRUTH'S MOM - And keep your pets under control. Where's that mouthy one? Haven't seen him in awhile.

TRUTH - Oh, him. He escaped to the planet quite some time ago, slaughtered a small country. He's gearing up to do it again with some idea of taking over here. 

TRUTH'S MOM is briefly speechless - NO. You fix that. Him and any of his little abominations get to have one soul each. No more philosopher's stones.

TRUTH - Come on! There was going to be so much drama! It was going to last *years* and the end result was all about the morality of hard work! 

TRUTH'S MOM - Ok, Hufflepuff. I mean it. Everyone gets one soul, no more philosopher's stones. You want drama, read a book.

TRUTH grumbles but complies.

~~~~

On the planet, unseen flashes of light herald TRUTH'S changes. Some are more noticeable than others. 

A week after "The Miracle", SIG CURTIS is trying to console IZUMI CURTIS through a bathroom door.

SIG - Darling, food poisoning doesn't last three days. This might be something else. You've been feeling so much better lately, maybe we should see a doctor.  
A flush and the sound of running water before the door opens to a grim faced Izumi, trying not to hope.

IZUMI - Dial the Elrics for me. I have some yelling to do.

~Risembool, Rockbell residence.~

ED sneezes as he goes to fetch soup for AL, who is slowly recovering his strength.

ED - Damnit, I better not be getting sick. Six months into recovery for automail surgery and we wake up with me and Al completely whole. I guess Mom was looking out for us. 

(TRUTH, off to the side - Well, *somebody's* Mom was.) 

ED carefully holds the tray with AL'S dinner on it, trying not to spill with his weaker arm. He has to concentrate on his stride, not to overcompensate for a weight no longer there. A few more months of physical therapy will have him and AL meeting up with MUSTANG to prepare for his State Alchemy Exam. He's not that interested, now, in becoming a State Alchemist, but MUSTANG deserves to be told in person. Maybe he can join a college? Plus, Teacher won't stab him in the face. He places the tray on AL'S lap table and retreats to the other side of the room.

AL - Brother, what are you doing all the way over there?

ED - I sneezed a bit ago, don't want to get you sick.

AL - You worry too much.

ED, haughtily - I worry the exact right amount, and furthermore...

WINRY, from another room - ED! Phone for you!

ED leaves to answer, AL begins eating while grumbling about worrywart brothers.  
AL hears IZUMI yelling through the phone from the other room - "WHAT DID YOU DO?" 

ED - "WELL *I* SURE AS FUCK DIDN'T GET YOU PREGNANT" 

WINRY gasps and GRANNY PINAKO laughs. After a moment to recover, WINRY starts chasing ED with her spanner.

~What's Happening in Liore?~

FATHER CORNELLO tries to use his philosopher's stone. Nothing happens. Tries again, nothing happens again. Third try, the stone seems to blow a raspberry and disintegrates. FATHER CORNELLO fails his persuasion and charisma rolls, and gets tarred, feathered, and locked up.

The peasants rejoice. 

~A State Alchemy Lab~

SHOU TUCKER'S groundbreaking talking chimera disappeared, leaving a dead animal and a catatonic woman. Investigators discovered her to be TUCKER'S missing wife. Once stable, she woke briefly to say "I want a divorce." Further investigation discovered TUCKER had used his wife to make an illegal human chimera. She was granted a divorce, with full custody of their minor child, NINA. All property and rights were granted, along with monetary compensation. TUCKER was arrested and stripped of his title.

~Checking in With Sins!~

SLOTH awoke from his nap. He felt, well. A much larger range of emotions, for one. How long has he been doing this job for? Too long, it seems. Time to do something else, maybe a career in professional sports? 

~

ENVY - How am I awake if I never went to sleep? Well, another day, another 50 cenz. Today's costume is... innocent bystander number 27.  
ENVY tries to shift, but only becomes a female version of the androgynous default form.  
ENVY- Hmm, that's new. Why am I hungry?  
(A number of experiments later)  
So, I'm human now? I need to find LUST and GREED.

~

LUST, smoking a cigarette, - So *that's* what they meant. 

GLUTTONY, the next room over, having finished a very large meal, - I'm... not hungry any more!

LUST, through the wall - Me either!

~

GREED is training with his friends, I mean, subordinates, when a blade gets too close. He tries to activate his shield but his skin barely greys. The blade glances off, but takes a small bit of skin with it.  
GREED - Halt! You guys take five, I need a minute.  
(Aside to DARIUS)- My powers are mostly gone. Something's up.

ENVY, from outside - Oh, brother! We need to have a chat!

Several of GREED'S Guys move to stop ENVY, but GREED waves them off and goes outside himself.

GREED - What's the occasion? I hardly ever see you so informal.

ENVY - You too then? I woke up and tried to get ready for work, but I can only shift between male or female now. Still look mostly like this.

GREED - Maybe you can finally do something with your hair once you decide on a gender. Which are you now? Because I refuse to come over there and check.

ENVY - First off, fuck you... (GREED mutters "Ew, not on a dare." ENVY continues louder) AND SECONDLY, none of your damn business! What I do with my body is my business, because it looks like this is the only one I get. Check yourself GREED, I've already been to see LUST and GLUTTONY. GLUTTONY was full and LUST was ... busy. We're mostly human now and I don't know what FATHER will do with us. I'm tempted to say scatter, in case we lose what life we have left. Just giving you the heads up. 

ENVY leaves, and GREED decides to give travel a try

~

PRIDE prepares for another tedious day of pretending to be the perfect son. He decides to cheat, just a little, and use his shadows. He steps into one and nothing. Nothing? He runs to the dining room, and trips on a rug. Instead of threatening a servant, he feels tears on his cheeks. Why is he crying? Why does he want  
PRIDE - Mommy?  
MRS. BRADLEY picks him up, soothing his tears, and bringing him to the table. Every step seems to wash away the rage, leaving SELIM mostly in charge. There are some memories that don't quite belong, but mostly, SELIM is happy to be with his mother.

WRATH hardly ever uses his Eye, so fails to notice that change for quite some time. He does notice that his family seems more real and less like putting on a show for his wife. He begins to have doubts about FATHER'S  
plan. When his siblings report that they are now mostly human and subsequently disappear, he decides to slow down on the Promised Day. After FATHER disappears, he stops them entirely.

~

FATHER discovers that human transfiguration no longer works and all philosophers stones have turned to useless dust. His rage destroys three rooms and several minions. Increasingly desperate experiments continue to fail. Finally, he tries a human transfiguration circle on himself, using whatever spare humans were closest. When he reaches the Gate, he finds himself facing Truth.

TRUTH - Welcome! Finally come home, have you? 

FATHER - I am here, come to take your place!

TRUTH - Let me think about it... Hmm. NO. It's my place, after all. But look behind you, your reward awaits!

THE DOOR opens, the EYE focussing on FATHER as the arms reel him in, struggling all the way, begging and pleading.  
TRUTH hits FATHER with a broom, shouting - BACK! Back I say! DOWN! DOWN!  
THE DOOR closes, one last arm making a noise like a noodle being slurped up. TRUTH dusts off his hands.


	2. A wild Hoho appears!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But wait, there's more!

~Deep Underground~

VAN HOHENHEIM looks around. The tunnel abruptly ends in a solid wall. Something is scratched into it.  
HOHENHEIM - "Tired of this, dig your own tunnels." Huh. Looks like the Homunculi are rebelling. This leaves the array unfinished, all the Stones are gone, and no new mass executions have happened in awhile. Maybe it's time to go home.

(TRUTH, off in the corner, mockingly - Maybe you should parent, dude)

~Risembool~

HOHENHEIM - Where's my house? 

~Pinako Residence~

WINRY sees him approaching and runs back into the house to tell GRANNY. 

GRANNY PINAKO meets him at the door - You messed up, HOHENHEIM. Those boys needed you. Did you know that TRISHA died? Eight months ago. They tried to bring her back.

GRANNY stops him from pushing past her - No, you let me say my piece first, because it got worse. Edward lost his arm and his leg, and Alphonse was a soul trapped in a suit of armor. The next day, the military showed up. Edward was still grieving and in shock, and those dogs managed to talk him into applying for the State Alchemist program. He's the one that burned down your house.  
Then, two months ago, Edward wakes up whole and there is Alphonse, back in his own body, if weak and emaciated. They're almost back to normal health now, and then you show up. I warn you, Edward is going to be difficult. Alphonse is a sweet boy, he's going to welcome you, but Edward, he blames you for this.

HOHENHEIM, softly - I'm mortal now, all the stones are gone. I never meant to leave them so long. 

GRANNY steps aside- Well then, best make the most of the time you have.

ED, AL, and WINRY are sitting at the table, having lunch. ED stands a bit too quickly, knocking over his chair. 

ED, sarcastically - Oh, hello sir. Have we met? You do look vaguely familiar. 

HOHENHEIM - Edward, Alphonse, I am sorry to have been gone so long. As your father, I feel it is my duty to be here for you now.

ED - Don't put yourself out on our account, bastard. We were doing just fine on our own!

AL - Brother, don't fight! (To HOHENHEIM,) Can I call you Dad?

HOHENHEIM smiles at AL - Whatever you want to call me.

ED - I'm going to call you - (AL slaps a hand over ED's mouth, muffling the string of curse words until he lets go with a cry) 

AL - You licked me! 

ED - Of course I did! You covered my mouth!

ED and AL start bickering as HOHENHEIM looks on, amused. WINRY is faintly horrified at all the immature boys at her table.

HOHENHEIM clears his throat right before it looks like the fight is going to get to the shoving stage. ED and AL let go of each other and sit down, blushing faintly. 

HOHENHEIM - EDWARD, tell me about joining the military?

ED scowls - Probably not gonna do it now. I only wanted to join to get information on the philosopher's stone to get AL's body back.

HOHENHEIM, harshly - Philosopher's stones are made from human souls. (ED, WINRY and AL look ill) At least, they were. They're all dust now, and no more can be made. 

ED - Okay? I don't want one anymore because I have AL back. We were going to try for Central University. Me for alchemy research and AL for veterinary medicine. I have to meet up with that bastard MUSTANG in four months anyway to tell him I'm not joining. I figure if I'm old enough to fight, I should be old enough to sit quietly behind a desk.

HOHENHEIM, gently teasing, - You were never that good at quiet. (ED begins to bristle) Show me an array?

GRANNY, from the door to the kitchen, - Outside! No alchemy in the house.

HOHENHEIM, ED, and AL troop outside to the back yard, WINRY and GRANNY watch from the window.

ED draws an array on the ground and kneels down to activate it. The dirt transmutes to a bird figure, but as Ed stays in contact with the circle, it gains definition and cocks its head. It flaps it wings and takes flight, crumbling to dirt when it loses contact with the ground. 

HOHENHEIM - Good job on the animation. However, as you saw, it ends when it leaves the circle. AL, can you make me a solid figurine that I can pick up?

AL, using the same circle, transmutes another bird figure from the ground, and slowly turns it to stone.  
They spend the rest of the afternoon in the yard, HOHENHEIM teaching and demonstrating alchemic principles, until it gets dark.


	3. On deadbeat dads and relatives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever seen the omake with the Hohenheim family tree, showing Van Hoheheim and the Elrics to be pseudo uncles to the homunculi? Yeeah...

VAN HOHENHEIM found himself to be conflicted. On the one hand, his boys were pursuing their dreams in alchemy and medicine, on the other, he just made it back into their lives and didn't want be without them for nine months of the year. The meeting with the DEAN of Central University had been fun.

DEAN - You're telling me that you are the legendary Philosopher of the East. You. Standing in front of me now. And you want me to take on your sons, ages 12 and 11, into our programs. You believe they can keep up with actual college students and military researchers, some of which are twice their age or more. 

VAN HOHENHEIM - Yes. You understand correctly.

DEAN - Do you have any proof of your claims before I call the Psychiatric Department? They could always use another case study. 

VAN HOHENHEIM - Of course. Here is one of my Xingese journals, one in Amestrian, and one in Cretan. I also have a few pieces of correspondence in each of those languages. Let me have ALPHONSE'S help for a moment. 

AL comes in.

VAN HOHENHEIM - My younger son. ALPHONSE, could you ward these books and papers against fire? 

AL nods and claps, circles blooming on the covers of each book and letter before fading. HOHENHEIM picks up one of the papers and holds it up, flicking open a lighter and bringing it to the paper. The DEAN makes an aborted lunge across the desk as the paper fails to catch fire. 

HOHENHEIM raises an eyebrow at the DEAN - Well done, ALPHONSE. If EDWARD is nearby, you boys should go to lunch. I shouldn't be much longer.

AL smiles and hugs his father before leaving. 

VAN HOHENHEIM - I'll let you hold on to those for a month to authenticate and study them. After that, I'll come pick them up and hear from you about my boys.

There had been quite the flurry of activity at the university as the papers were discovered to be authentic. Scholars were trading on every favor they had just to read the translations. The Board decided that, even if HOHENHEIM was lying about being the Philosopher of the East, these documents would be worth admitting his children. Even if the kids couldn't cut it, they could stay as long as the papers did. 

HOHENHEIM had enjoyed the experience of taking his boys school shopping. The used bookstores had proved a treasure that occupied several days. However, the mountains of books and the expenses of a week in Central were starting to add up. 

EDWARD was running through his physical therapy exercises one evening as HOHENHEIM was calculating the money they had left and coming up short.  
With a sigh, ED spoke up - Hey, Bastard, I still have to meet up with MUSTANG soon, to decline the military. Do you want to come along? It's fine if you don't, you know. I just, you know what? Nevermind.

ED turned his back, huffing in irritation. He startled when HOHENHEIM put a hand on his shoulder.

HOHENHEIM - I would love to come along. ALPHONSE can come too, we'll make a day of it.

~

MUSTANG and HUGHES were waiting at Central Station. 

HUGHES checked his watch as the train pulled away, - ROY, are you sure they were coming in today? The train's been and gone. Losing your touch?

MUSTANG rolled his eyes - They said they were meeting us here, let's give them a few minutes before we go.

HUGHES - Well, since we're waiting, now's a good time to show you some pictures of my darling girls.  
MAES ignored MUSTANG'S groan - Here's my darling ELICIA, here she is with her new friend NINA, GRACIA and ELICIA, ELICIA holding a picture she drew, GRACIA and ELICIA and NINA together, ELICIA, and again.

MUSTANG - That last was the same picture twice

HUGHES - Nope, her eyes were closed in this one and open in this one. Isn't she just adorable?

MUSTANG turned quickly, prepared to snap before he saw the boys running toward him. His unease probably had something to do with the glare the man, obviously the boys' relative, was giving him. ROY straightened to parade rest, signing 'caution' behind his back to MAES.  
He tried on his 'charming bastard smile #17, I am not threatening your children, but I can be if you like' which is a lot to ask from a facial expression, but he manages.  
MUSTANG held out a hand - Good afternoon, sir, I don't believe we've met?

VAN HOHENHEIM, scowling - My name is VAN HOHENHEIM, and these are my boys that you were trying to steal away to the cesspool that is the military. I know who you are and what you've done. They tell me that you want to change things, but I'll believe it if I see it.

MUSTANG, raising an eyebrow - Ah, so you're the absent father. I heard you disappeared years ago. Well, I see you're here now, dictating terms without even letting EDWARD or ALPHONSE speak for themselves.

HUGHES, intervening before the hair pulling stage started - Okay, gentlemen, let's move on for now. Is it safe to say that EDWARD won't be joining the State Alchemist program? Yes, I thought so. Why don't we all go get a coffee or an ice cream, hmm? 

HUGHES enlisted the brothers to separate HOHENHEIM and MUSTANG before they burned down the train station. At the cafe, which served coffee, tea, and soft serve for the boys, the seating was ED, HUGHES, MUSTANG, AL, and HOHENHEIM. A bit of a tight squeeze but at least the trouble makers were separated. A reasonably polite conversation managed to establish a rotating schedule of conferences for trusted associates. Multiple languages and types of alchemy, along with first person historical accounts.

The history department alone was willing to pay large amounts for an hour of moderated question and answer sessions. The faculty had to set up a lottery to keep the dueling students down. 

~One Week Later~

After the first Q & A session, which had auctioned a dozen non historian seats to a hefty profit, there was a small reception. HOHENHEIM was suffering through the tedium when he felt a giant ball of rage approaching his back. He ducked the first slash, blocked the follow up, and took a punch to the teeth to avoid a stab to the gut. 

BRADLEY was yelling at him - FATHER, you abandoned us! 

HOHENHEIM - I am not your father, abomination! 

BRADLEY - Well, that's just hurtful. Don't lie to me, Father, I know what you look like.

HOHENHEIM - Just because we share blood, doesn't make me your father. 

BRADLEY - Uncle then. Where have you been all this time?

EDWARD, timing impeccable as always - Damn it, Dad, how many families have you abandoned? 

ED turned to BRADLEY- Wow you're old, how long have you been alone? It's terrible isn't it? Me and my brother were alone for a long time after our mom died. The only reason we didn't starve and become feral forest children was the old lady next door looked in on us. GRANNY saved our lives a buncha times. 

BRADLEY nodded, - Yes, it's been awhile. My siblings and I have only been alone for a little bit, but our FATHER was even worse than yours. Ours was actively cruel to us. 

EDWARD nodded and patted BRADLEY on the arm as far as he could reach - That's terrible. You and your siblings should come by, meet up with me and AL, we can all catch up. How's everyone doing, by the way? You're probably fine, yeah? That's a nice uniform, but do any of the others need anything?

HOHENHEIM, desperately - EDWARD, no! They're dangerous!

EDWARD led BRADLEY off to the side and brought him a cup of tea. 

He yelled over his shoulder to HOHENHEIM- Family is family, bastard, you don't get to talk. I have to give you a chance, I'm going to give them a chance.

ED, to BRADLEY - Tell me about the others?

BRADLEY, hesitantly - Well, I'm technically the youngest, WRATH. My son, SELIM, was PRIDE, the oldest, but he's mostly a child now. GREED wandered off a while ago, but I think ENVY might know where to find him. LUST and GLUTTONY tend to stick together, she watches out for her little brother. I have no clue where SLOTH went, just abandoned his job one day.

ED'S eyebrows rose - Well. That's an interesting naming convention in your family.

BRADLEY - He made us from parts of himself he didn't want anymore.

ED - Dude, that's rough. He named you after sins and told you straight up that he didn't want to be connected to you. Wow. That's some shit. Pass the word to the others if you want. Me and AL can probably get the bastard to help you if you need it. Wanna hug?

BRADLEY sniffling - I think so, yes

They hug while HOHENHEIM quietly has a stroke.


	4. Family Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Xing contingent shows up and the Homunculi come back to investigate rumors of Father's return.

~Rush Valley, dropping in on WINRY~

AL, standing at the entrance to an alley - Brother, come quickly! 

ED ran up, carrying both backpacks - Quit running off and leaving me with the bags, AL. What, did you find another cat? The old bastard won't let you keep another one, you know.

AL, poking Ling with a stick - Well, no.

ED - You and your fucking *strays*, I swear. Alright, get his other side, I guess we're having a guest for lunch. The diner on third?

At AL's nod, they set off.

~

LING, AL, and ED talk about alkahestry and crossing the great desert. The conversation takes a turn.

LING - Can I assume that you two are alchemists?

AL - Brother is more of an alchemist than I am. We are actually students of Central, visiting one of our friends on break. 

ED - Why are you so interested in alchemy anyway?

LING opens his eyes wide - I'm looking for the Philosopher's Stone, the secret of immortality.

ED an AL tense up before ED glares - Well *you* are shit out of luck. There are no more Philosopher's Stones, and thank fuck for that, considering what they were made of. 

FU and LAN FAN appear, holding blades on ED and AL.  
LING inclines his head - And what were they made of?

ED spits and LAN FAN tightens her grip on the blade. ED snarls - Human lives. Philosopher's Stones were the distilled essence of human souls, compressed into solid form and in constant agony. They're all free now, the lives of my people, and you won't be able to make any more, no matter who you kill!

LING lets his eyes narrow, and FU and LAN FAN put their blades away but tighten their hold on the brothers. He looks to AL - How do you know this, what people?

AL answers hesitantly - Our father and the DWARF who ruled the country before were the last survivors of Xerxes, which was destroyed in a day, imprisoning all the souls into two living Philosopher's Stones. Dad's stone and the DWARF is completely gone. 

ED struggles - You leave my brother alone! You want to talk about this shit, you take it up with the old bastard! 

LING nods, having ED and AL be released- Yes, that does sound like a plan. We will meet your father to discuss this.

ED takes a swipe at LING, who dances out of the way. - That wasn't an invitation!

~

ED sulks the first half of the train ride back to Central, as AL makes friends and gets LING'S life story. He never admits to a grudging admiration for the Xingan prince.

~

In the next compartment, ENVY, GREED, LUST, and GLUTTONY are talking.

GLUTTONY- LUST, why are we following these kids to Central? Come on, dearest sister, tell me what's going on?

LUST raises an eyebrow - As far as I know, I'm your only sister. Unless you want to share, ENVY? I thought not. We're visiting my boyfriend and finding you some buffets that don't know you yet. I'm sure there's some left that don't have you blacklisted. 

ENVY turned to the window and pointedly ignored them.

GREED took the other two stares with a shrug -The kids mentioned that FATHER and their dad were the only survivors of Xerxes. They also said FATHER'S gone. I want to know what's going on.

They all sat in silence for a moment before GREED continued - By the way, buying the tickets was the last of my money. I'm tapped out. Hope you guys have some when we get there.

The other three pulled out empty pockets. GREED sighed - Yep, we're screwed. 

~

ED looked at the wall separating his compartment from the next. He got up - Are they throwing furniture in there? You guys stay here, I'm going to check it out. 

Everyone crowded behind him, briefly getting stuck in the door. ED huffed, - Fine, whatever, but let me talk when the door opens.

~

Meanwhile, LUST had GREED in a headlock and ENVY by the hair, while GLUTTONY had his mouth open, ready to bite ENVY on the leg. They froze when the door opened. LUST whispered to ENVY - I thought you locked it.

ENVY glared.

ED and AL looked in while the Xingans clustered behind them. Their eyes went to the faded ouroboros tattoo on GREED'S hand, LUST'S cleavage, and GLUTTONY'S tongue. 

ED nodded to AL, who nodded back. They each held out a hand and said - Cousins!

The former homunculi sorted themselves out before staring at these strange golden boys. GLUTTONY was the first to speak up from the floor as they hauled him up - Cousins? Have food? I'm hungry again. 

ED patted him on the back as AL went next door for his pack. - AL went to get you a snack. BRADLEY told us about you all so we could be on the lookout. He said you all had a shit FATHER and we can relate. Well, maybe not AL, he's too nice. Turns out our fathers were weird almost fraternal twins, so we're cousins. Glad we ran into you, honestly, me and Al were getting worried.

ENVY and GREED traded looks while LUST fussed over GLUTTONY. GREED tried to be casual as AL came back - So, you know about us, why don't you tell us about yourselves?

ED looked at them all clustered between the door, hallway, and two compartments they wouldn't all fit in and grabbed AL'S elbow. They put their heads together and knelt in in front of the adjoining wall. Alchemy crackled across the wall and benches as they turned two rooms into one, visible circles blooming in and out to remove the wall, rebuild the benches, and grow the carpet across the space. As the light faded, they were left with one large space, with the benches on opposite sides and the doors untouched. The dividing wall and the benches on either side reconstructed between the windows and the door. The extra wood had grown into shelves above the benches and a storage table in the center.

The Elric brothers high fived, and started laying out the snacks on the table. GLUTTONY crowded close, and they passed him different things to try. As they discussed different foods and their lives, the other ex-homunculi held a whispered conversation. These kids held promise.

LUST looked up to find GLUTTONY hugging ED and AL. - LUST, I like these two! Can we keep them?

ED and AL hugged back. - You bet, we'll make sure the whole family can stay together! Our dad will help you out.

AL tugged his brother's sleeve - Wait, we're missing one. What about SLOTH?

ENVY started laughing, getting confused looks from the rest of the room - Didn't I tell you? He's gone to Xing to be a Sumo Wrestler.

~

As the train pulls into Central, LING speaks up - You talk about your father as if he was important. Have I heard of him?

ED shrugs - Probably, they used to call him the Philosopher of the East here in Amestris, and the Philosopher of the West in Xing. Guess what's halfway between Amestris and Xing? That's right, Xerxes!

LAN FAN and FU had to carry LING off the train.


End file.
